after three years of passionately fearing zyprexa, a prescription for this medicine has finally unfolded. at this current time, only 90% of me remains awestruck by its potential for distress.
perhaps, the apprehension is slightly less.
if anxious now, when finally selecting the first pill from the bottle to trial, how will that aspect of nervous be defined? that impending level of rigidity should be feared.
loose is so sick, but i hate not breaking out of tight, too.
implications, mechanism, and debating the prediction-- attending to this prescription outside of the office it was written in, after all of this time, is of significant importance.
i intend to take this for three completely different reasons: 1) none of the side effects which may result from this 'medication notorious for rapid weight gain' can be worse than my last few weeks; 2) it will improve my mood; and, of course, 3) 'my anorexia thinks' the risk factors associated with its biochemistry can be countered and the anti-obsessional properties put to work.
a lot of people swallow this pill and then grant the light of the refrigerator an unwavering call of influence. the joke is that in my history of appliance, i still never allow it lit. if obsessions prove reduced, and they should be, there is a threat that a lot of weight can be lost while on this pill.
what about those tales from people who have taken zyprexa and subsequently gained 20 pounds in the first two weeks? a quick search reveals many, many complaints. experiences where people have increased their size dramatically, in a short time, even while adhering to a restricted diet, has kept me from previous investigation.
my doctor does not believe my anorexia will allow this to happen to me. i suggested i might retain water weight initially, considering this medicine will be a foreign substance in my body. he shrugged. fine-- i will not confuse the initial edema -- since my body will consider itself poisoned -- with weight gain.
"all of my patients who have gained weight on zyprexa said they had not, but did radically change their eating behaviors. some ate an additional sandwich after dinner, or started eating a pint of ice cream at bedtime -- something they had never done before -- and their opinion insisted that daily calories were pretty much the same as always."
i look to its influence, the mechanism of action, and altered gene expression before disagreeing, but he is the geneticist-- and one who has taught biochemistry at a university level. does that matter?
he neither lives with an intricate and irrational fear of weight gain, nor has he a mental illness which can compound results stemming from the power of suggestion. when overtly familiar with a subject, one can take a passing glance and easily spit out the answer. when obsessed and not-so-familiar, that is the student who has more chance in locating potential disaster.
"with all of the ratings you have read about zyprexa in regard to weight, diabetes, and ravenous carbohydrate cravings,
you will be able to use it to lose weight,"
resident doctor #4 said. "i don't want you to challenge this pill, and i want you to let me know right away if you feel it making you hungry."
tonight, resident doctor #4 was told to scratch the inpatient idea, but that i was interested in hearing his opinion on the 'general' partial hospitalization program at ucla.
