the suicidal ideation brought on from this trial of antidepressant is sounding an incredibly loud alarm. we should have cancelled this entire journey, but this vacation will serve as a distraction which will help facilitate getting on the medicine.
on the other hand, perhaps in a rage, i will snap and define an alternate meaning of 'how to kill oneself' while hiking the inca trail.
- to the vitamin shoppe for seven protein bars
- to adventure 16 for thermal sportswear and miscellaneous outdoor gear
- to rei sporting goods store for an overpriced but better selection
- to trader joe's for individual envelopes of powdered soup mix
- to sports chalet for disposable chemical handwarmer packets
- to blow a patagonia gift card on a trekking jacket and clothing for chuck
- to walgreens for diamox tablets to avoid andean altitude sickness
- to the los angeles public library to return 30+ checked out books
even after boarding the cat this afternoon, we still viewed canceling this trip as a respectable option. the zoloft is exciting practically timed episodes of a worsening, intense, weepy depressions. it is neither attractive nor fun to begin crying in the middle of a store or other public place for no reason other than this trial pill. though the instances of suicidality have been lasting under a half of an hour, at five or six times a day, they are not only annoying but quite frightening. the flip side to feeling chemically suicidal is not half bad, possibly explained as being content.i considered asking motherfigure to tag along to south america (since she was the person who suggested we take a vacation to begin with) but mom is only twenty years older and hasn't a grasp on spontaneity yet. how ludicrous to suggest she grab a bag and meet up en route. as a perpetual traveler, i can pack for an international jaunt in under five minutes flat-- never forgetting anything -- but my mom would have needed more than 48 hours notice to prepare for something 'as overwhelming' as a flight to peru. i can appreciate that, but...
what's the big deal? it's a vacation! whatever happens, happens. really, what could possibly go wrong aside from getting robbed or killed, enduring unexpected extremes in temperature, altitude sickness, running into 'foreign food intolerance' and having it summon you into a third world bathroom, or paying for a surprise which is apt to be prohibitively expensive?
yep, last harness buckled and checked. i am on and ready.
chuck and i have airline tickets to lima and a reservation for one night at a respectable tourist class hotel in miraflores- an upscale district of the city where one finds internationally branded hotels and restaurants. by intentionally ignoring to accept the 'perceived safety' of the jw marriott, we will have started out slightly uncomfortable for chuck, but on the right foot.
after that...? if i can convince him to leave the security of the miraflores 'tourist hub' might we travel to the south coast to see mummies at the cemetery of chauchilla? perhaps too pedestrian, but we could charter an airplane and its pilot for a flight over the nazca lines. definitely we will book flights to cusco, for the inevitable visit to machu picchu, but we currently have no idea and will plan along the way.
okay, here we go-- invalid friend chuck and i are off to explore peru.





