flagrant disregard

untitled watercolor spirals #02 2004


untitled watercolor spirals #01 2004

consider: how can flagrant place DEPRESSED BLOG CHARACTER in THE BED?
[myflagrant superpowers fizzled earlier in the day.]

fact: FEAR cannot be ignored but can be THWUMPED.
[with a pocketed pop culture reference.]

consider: can a paralytic THWUMP paralysis?
[eye'm thinking: no.]

fact: DEATH cannot run.
fact: DEATH occasionally walks swiftly.
- lifebox needs protection from DEATH.
- flagrant drops lifebox while trying to outrun DEATH.
- DEATH licks his finger.
flagrant thinks: eye dont understand but that cant be good.
- they sprint south as DEATH slowly stalks.
flagrant thinks: screw it. eye've got frequent flyer miles.
- flagrant puts lifebox in AISLE B on northwest airlines.
- SCARYPEOPLE whisper and motion toward lifebox.
- flagrant owns WINDOW A for nine hours.
- DEATH is left behind.
note: DEATH has no worldperks status.

blogger #6 wrote that his father died this week and it was on the news.
blogger #110 is fighting with blogger #13.
blogger #27 must have gone to that handsome boy modeling school.
blogger #76 will never see his greedy alcoholic sister again.
blogger #3 wrote 104 things.
blogger #32 is missing.
blogger #26 is a liar.
blogger #76 just returned from his mother's funeral and went to work.
blogger #76 is 39, gay, and just married a straight woman with kids.
blogger #76 is technically a grandfather due to wife's weird life.
blogger #1 turns out to be all of 17 years-old.
blogger 185# bitched about her size again.
blogger #57 has one hell of a web-watcher setup.
blogger #F wrote about schizophrenia + shoelaces in a flagrant language.
blogger #14 continues to steal other people's style even though it looks forced.
- an online obituary states blogger #6's father was the greatest guy in atlanta.
later:
blogger #F would give blogger #25 groceries.
blogger #76 is famous.
blogger #6 had to teach his mother how to pump gas and pay bills.
blogger #32 should have remained lost.
blogger #58 thinks everyone should eat at yo!sushi in selfridges.
blogger #27 is linked to me.
blogger #F should stop constructing these blogger lists.
consider: is should have remained lost always a bad thing?

NOVEMBER 2003- PHNOM PENH, CAMBODIA

too late in the day i remember i can do things
go places- but i'm so used to dark and no and it can wait.
i never failed at anything i actually went out and did.

i care.
eye don't care.
i do care.
eye could fuck them all up.
i forgot.
eye didn't forget.
i did.
eye yelled "dumb bitch" out of the car window today at someone.
i noticed.
eye felt good.

part I:
telephone rings. PERSON SUPPOSEDLY DOING WELL turns into LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST with thumping heartrate and weird breathing cadence from TELEPHONE ANXIETY.

TELEPHONE ANXIETY is probably brought on by BUSINESS PERSON. BUSINESS PERSON needs not telephone LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST. BUSINESS PERSON needs not ask how LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST is doing. BUSINESS PERSON needs to only send LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST papers to sign. BUSINESS PERSON may possibly knock on door at SAFE PLACE if in LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST'S area.

LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST does not answer telephone.

part II:
LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST runs caller id telephone exchange through google's search engine. TELEPHONE ANXIETY was certainly due to BUSINESS PERSON. LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST'S symptoms of thumping heartrate and weird breathing cadence escalate. LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST worries about potential knock on door or additional TELEPHONE ANXIETY when BUSINESS PERSON tries again later. LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST cannot change out of MENTALLY ILL WARDROBE and will therefore not answer knock on door. LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST knows how to act somewhat normal with phrases like: "yes it is" + "how are you" + "i had a great year" + "so if you could just send the papers and leave me the hell alone that'd be great" yet it does not work to CALM or eliminate WEIRD BREATHING PROBLEMS.

part III:
knock on door at SAFE PLACE freaks out LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST. INVALID FRIEND CHUCK thinks nothing of answering knock on door. knock on door is OLD RUSSIAN MUU-MUU WOMAN. OLD RUSSIAN MUU-MUU WOMAN wants $2.00 for WHOKNOWSWHY. OLD RUSSIAN MUU-MUU WOMAN always wants $2.00. OLD RUSSIAN MUU-MUU WOMAN owns $120,000 mercedes benz S600. INVALID FRIEND CHUCK says, "FOR CHRISSAKE, NO!" LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST is now calm. things are fine and somewhat normal. BUSINESS PERSON will probably not telephone now that things are fine, calm, and somewhat normal.

part IV:
BUSINESS PERSON does not telephone LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST. BUSINESS PERSON does not visit SAFE PLACE and knock on door but LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST worries about TELEPHONE ANXIETY and fears future knock on door. knock on door will go unanswered as LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST, who has switched back to PERSON SUPPOSEDLY DOING WELL, is still wearing MENTALLY ILL WARDROBE.

PERSON SUPPOSEDLY DOING WELL has remained in SAFE PLACE since initial TELEPHONE ANXIETY from BUSINESS PERSON. PERSON SUPPOSEDLY DOING WELL now also has MAILBOX FEARS since BUSINESS PERSON did not knock on door or reinstate TELEPHONE ANXIETY. PERSON SUPPOSEDLY DOING WELL is running out of NECESSARY LIQUIDS and leaves SAFE PLACE but notices STRANGER MAN WITH BIG BOX and returns to SAFE PLACE in the form of LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST due to MENTALLY ILL WARDROBE.

part V:
LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST in MENTALLY ILL WARDROBE drives INVALID FRIEND to work and back under 100,000 lux BRIGHTLIGHTS. BRIGHTLIGHTS are superior to FULL-SPECTRUM INDOOR UV LIGHT BOX THERAPY thus LUNATIC ESCAPE ARTIST switches back to PERSON SUPPOSEDLY DOING WELL from elevated serotonin and now can only vaguely consider MAILBOX FEARS. PERSON SUPPOSEDLY DOING WELL notices letter from BUSINESS PERSON and acts somewhat normal by immediately ripping it open. BUSINESS PERSON has not only sent papers to sign, and enclosed a self-addressed peel-and-stick stamped envelope, but also made copies so PERSON SUPPOSEDLY DOING WELL needs not leave SAFE PLACE to seek out BROKEN COIN-EATING COPY MACHINE IN SOME UNKNOWN CORNER OF LOCAL DRUGSTORE. BUSINESS PERSON is perfect. PERSON SUPPOSEDLY DOING WELL signs, seals, sends, and returns to SAFE PLACE.